Hyoyeon's 4th April -Oneshot-
Author: Han Hyo Joo
Main cast: Lee Hyukjae
(Eunhyuk), Kim Hyoyeon
Rating: T
Genre: Fluff, Angst, Romance,
Romcom (a bit)
Disclaimer: I still own
Hyukjae’s heart, love and smiles
H y o y e o n’s
4th
April
04th April 2001
Actually this is one year after I joined this
huge company. One year before, I got the casting and showed off my ability in
dance, because actually I don’t really catch the singing ability. I loved dance
so bad. Fortunately, the trainers want to recruit me as one of their trainee.
Just say I’m lucky enough.
Yesterday, I got another selection. I’m not
in my good condition, so I got the bottom three positions. It’s really scary
because two of us will reject from the company. I can’t loose here, I have a
stack of dreams to proven. I bowed my head as the trainer read the name to be
rejected. Lee Seohee, Kim Hyoyoon. I raised my head and look at the trainer, is
it me? I’m rejected? God, please.
The trainer knew my weariness and said the
last name once again, and I can clearly hear it. It’s not my name. I exhaled
with a lot of thanked to God. I can’t clearly express my happiness, because
there two of my friends (actually I can’t recognize who they are) that rejected
from the company. The situation became gloomy, and then the trainer separated
us in group. And why they put me in boy’s class? Since I don’t really care
about it, so I didn’t find the reason. The trained time made me and this
personality. Sooyoung said that I’m a person of mood. Hey, that’s you whom like
that. Aish, my roommate.
Since I was put in boy’s class, I can’t
really talk with everyone. The boys have their own arranged with whom they want
to talk or play. Aish, such a nuisance. I just sat on the corner when it’s time
to take a rest.
“Sorry, can you moved a bit?” I looked up to
see the one who talked. I think I know him, but again I can’t recognize him. I
moved as he wants. He sat beside of me. We don’t chat. Just sit.
A week later, I know his name. Lee Hyukjae.
His moved and his dance was well-great. He can do the locking and popping
easily. He is a funny person. It seems like my comedic connection well-match
with him. We can jokes around when the rest time come. I thanked enough for him
because he always asked me if I alone in the corner.
4th April 2002
I’m still in the dance class, but now I got
another class. I got the singing class. Actually it’s more tiring. And why I’m
still loved dance more than anything. I must leave in singing class longer than
in dance class. They said that I must improve my singing ability. They said my
dance was great and I mustn’t worry about that. Guys, you didn’t know I loved
that stuff, it’s not that I must worry or not about it.
“Where have you been?” Hyukjae asked me when
I get my precious time with dance class.
“I got the singing class, and they said my
singing was bad, so I spent my whole time there.”
“Yeah, I think they’re right.”
“Do you want to die soon?”
“Okay, let me prepare the coffin. You want to
kill me in soft or hard way?” he asked.
“Maybe I’ll go with the soft one,” I replied
and we chuckled.
Since I got that singing class, so I fixed my
schedule between school and dance class. I used my Sunday for dance class. Hhh,
can the government made one day more after Sunday so I can take a rest?
When I was finished my dance class, I saw the
television in the lobby and I was surprised when I saw him with another
trainee. He looked so innocent, or maybe he pretended to do that? Ah, he must
be pretended. He was there with H.O.T sunbaenim.
“Ah, you watch it?” he talked beside me and a
little surprise me.
“God! You surprised me.”
“Wae? Aish, Hyoyeon-ah, let’s go!”
“Wait! Where are we going?”
“I’ll buy you hamburger.”
“Do you being possessed?” I checked his
temperature.
“Ya!” he shoved my hand and pinched my nose.
“Kkaja!”
And here we are. Holding the hamburger and
walked in the public park. When we passed by, there are a lot of couples that
have their dating. Aish.
Suddenly, Hyukjae-oppa pointed at one of
them, when I looked the boy was kneeled and showed the girl a ring. Wow just
wow! Hyukjae-oppa and I laughed and looked to another couples. One of them is
feed each other, then another is tickling each other, another is chating.
“Hyoyeon-ah, let’s pretend that we’re a
couple.”
“Aish, are you kidding? Don’t go with that
stupid thing.”
“Ya! It will be funny. Let’s make a big fuss
in the company.”
“Oppa, who think who you are, we’re not debut
yet, nor an artist.” Hyukjae-oppa seemed thought about my words. Then he faced
me with his gummy smile.
“It’s okay, maybe it’ll big fuss if we reach
our tenth anniversary.”
“Do you that confidence? So, we’ll pretend
until ten years?” he nodded confidently.
“Hyoyeon-ah, eotte?” I frowned and then
nodded.
4th April 2003
It’s our first anniversary and like we
predict before. It’s not a big fuss for the company. Because we still trainee, there
no paparazzi that took our photo secretly or got anger from the CEO because
this ‘fake’ relationship.
“Oppa, there are no big fuss happen.” I
mumbled when we’re on the middle of practice.
“We must be patient, Hyoyeon-ah. It will.
Believe me it will happen.”
“Ya! Don’t you think what the advantage of
this fake for us?”
“Because it’s not a big fuss yet, so we can’t
really feel what the advantages for us.”
“You and this unbelievable relationship.”
“Wae? Later, the headline will say ‘The
Greatest Machine Dance’s Couple had made’.”
“Oppa, you have any plastic?”
“No. for what?”
“I think I want to puke.”
“Are you pregnant? We didn’t make it before!”
he beamed like a crazy person.
“Ya! You and your pollution mind!” I pushed
his face and continued my practice. I can see the reflection of his gummy smile
on the mirror.
4th april 2004
I sneaked out in the dawn to go outside the
dorm. It’s all because I had made an appointment earlier with Hyukjae-oppa.
Beside that, when the morning came, I’ll go to China. The company wants me to
learn about Chinese and its language. They said it’s important for me after debut.
Will I debut? I still doubt for it. Because there are a lot of group that
failed to debut.
We met up at the park near my dorm. I waited
for him ten minutes, and then he came. With his hoodie and a box in his left
hand.
“You’re late ten minutes.” I said.
“Sorry, I got up a little late.”
“Okay, so why you want to meet?”
“Is it too straightforward? You must calmed me
down, or maybe plead me to take a seat.”
“Mwo? For what?”
“Kim Hyoyeon.”
“Ne ne, please take a seat.” He sat down and
wiped his sweat. He looked so messy, I helped him to wipe his sweat with my
hands.
“Here, take it with you.”
“What is this?” I asked and opened the box. A
tiffany’s bracelet.
“Oppa?”
“It’s from my mother. She told me to wear it.
She said it will give you luck. Take that.”
“No, it’s for you. Take it with you so your debut
will success.”
“You need this to pass the exam.”
I take the bracelet and look at it still.
It’s beautiful enough. Simple.
“Are
you sure?” I asked him once again and he nodded.
“I heard that you will go there with Siwon.
Really Hyoyeon-ah, be carefull!”
“Why? Is he a bad guy?”
“More than that.” I just can frown and then
we talked as usual. When it comes to morning, we separated and I prepare for
the trip.
I meet with Siwon-oppa. He is really
handsome. Cool. Well-mannered. Good looking. Err, how can I put this one, err,
breathtaking? He is really different with Hyukjae-oppa. He is monkey-face.
Childish. Average-mannered. Usual. He is just like that. I frowned when I
remembered Hyukjae-oppa said I must be careful of this person. Why? He is
really gentleman. Lee Hyukjae, are you jealous?
4th April 2005
My trainer said that I was chosen to be one
of girlband that will be debut. I’m happy to hear that, so I’ll go to tell
Hyukjae-oppa. Now, we’re separated. He will debut first with his band. Really,
when I knew that, I envy him. But he coos me with say that I’ll debut too.
Yeah, I hope I got my chance. Someday.
I meet him in the dressing room. Wow, it’s
really filled with the members. Actually they will be one of boyband with the
biggest number in members. Can you imagine a boyband with twelve members? He
once told me that his boyband will go with graduating concept, like one of
girlband from Japan. What’s their name, ah, I don’t really pay attention for
this one. I think it’s Morning Musume.
“Oppa!” he saw me and stopped chatting with
one of his best friend, Lee Donghae.
“Why you come?”
“You must be happy that I go to meet you.”
“Sooner or later, there will be a lot of
girls that want to meet with me.” He said like celebrity he is.
“Ne, go with your fans. I’ll go.” I turned my
body, and he grabbed my right elbow.
“Aish, what a girl. So, why you want to meet
with me? Is there something you want to talk?”
We walked to the bench and take a seat.
“I want to congrats you. Beside that, I’ll go
debut too.” I said happily.
“Really? Ah, finally the big fuss will come!”
“Really oppa, you still thinking of that?”
“A bit.” I took out my cell phone and go to
the camera’s menu.
“Let’s take a picture before you debut.” He
fixed up his hair and I just chuckled when I see him do that weird stuff.
Click!
“Look that! I don’t know I can be really that
handsome.”
“Yeah, you’re too handsome that I want to
eat.”
“Kim Hyoyeon.” He will do that, called my
name if he is really irritated with my habit.
“Ya! Lee Hyukjae!” I heard Donghae-oppa
called him to go back. It’s their time to take MV shooting. He faced me and
tells me to pray for him.
“I will pray for you.”
“Thanks,” then he hugged me. It’s the first
time he hugged me. Four years I’ve known him and three years with this ‘fake’
relationship, this the very first time we act like we’re really a couple. He
released me and went to Donghae-oppa.
4th April 2006
We meet up in SM rooftop. He looked tired and
pale. We’re sitting in bench.
“Oppa, are you okay?” I checked his
temperature. His body temperature is a bit warm. I guessed he got cold.
“I think I’m not that okay.” He shoved my
hand and changed the position. He laid on the bench, he lifting his leg on the
bench’s arm and his head on my lap.
“Have you been okay?” he looked at me. His
hand shove my hair that blow a little because of the wind.
“Of course, oppa are you okay?” I hold his
hand.
“I just worried. The year have passed, it’s
2006. According to the plan, I’ll graduate from the group, right? But, I’ve
lost my confidence. Will I be okay if I am not Super Junior 05? Will I survive
with this world? Will I give up?” I know he is worry. Even I’m not debut yet, I
can feel what he feels. This world is scary enough and really frustrating.
I said I know that feeling, but I can’t do
something to make him feel better. Aish, I think Sooyoung’s right. I’m a person
of mood and this is the effect of that personality of mine. I just hold his
hand and ruffled his hair gently.
I think he knew that I can’t do something
that can comfort him. I heard him chuckled and played my hand that still hold
his.
“It’s okay, Hyoyeon-ah.”
“What? What’s okay?” I eyed him probingly.
“Ya! Change your face. Don’t try to be cute.”
He got up and eyed me playfully.
“Get off me!” I said when he tightens his
hold on my hand. I shifted my gaze and give him a death glare. And now he
laughed happily. He even touched his stomach. I got up, really irritated.
“Aish, ne, arasseo arasseo.” He stopped his
laugh and pulled me to sit again. But suddenly I lost my balance and lucky
enough he got my waist and make me fall into his lap. And god, how can we’re
really this close? I can clearly see his eyes.
“You’re blushing.” He said straight in front
of my face. Aish, this monkey.
“I put blush on. Aish,” I pushed his face
with my free hand, make him laughed even more. I got up and about to leave him,
but I looked back, “Oppa, if you need me, just, just say it.” I said as honest
as I can.
“Ne.” he replied shortly.
4th April 2007
“Is Lee Hyukjae happy now?” I teased him that
still pouring his famous gummy smile. Aish, is he that confident with that
weird smile?
“Of course. It feels right. Just it.” He held
my hand and pulled me to sit near him. Now, we’re in one of practice room.
Well, this room seems haven’t any schedule to be used by the trainees.
Then I took something from my pocket and gave
it to him.
“Is this?” he seemed to be known what’s
inside the box. Right, that’s the bracelet she used to give me three years ago.
“I said you can keep it with you,” he eyed me
curiously.
“Oppa, it has been with me for almost three
years. It’s time to go with you.”
“But, you will debut soon.” He mumbled and
bowed his head. I can see him puffing his cheeks a bit and played with the
bracelet. Really it’s comfort to see him in his condition now. Aish.
“Oppa, this bracelet had given me a lot of
luck’s, miracles and everything you called it as. Look, I can stand here to
debut. Now, it’s time for it to show you its miracle.”
He looked at me and his lips turned to be
curve. Finally, his mood bit up. He wears the bracelet and hides it under his
jacket.
My phone vibrated. One message coming. I
busied myself with Taeyeon’s message, when suddenly he called me
“Hyoyeon-ah,” I turned around and found that
his nose touching mine. God! This is really close! Lee Hyukjae! Don’t go play
with me! I tried to push his chest away, but his hand grabbed mine and hold it
tight. Suddenly, he closed his eyes. Omo! Is he gonna kiss me? Really? Kiss? I
shut my eyes as he leaned closer.
“HA! I got you!” I opened my eyes only to
know he has been on the wooden floor. Laughing like crazy. How could I get to
his trap? It’s really… Lee Hyukjae. I found my cheek burn in anger. It’s not
funny. But again I remembered. We don’t have that kind of relationship. It’s
not even real. Yeah, so go with your laugh. Fine. Go with it.
I refused to look at his face, when he tried
to apologize. He even more teased me when I ignored him. Ya! What kind of
person you are? I barked in my mind.
“Ya! Lee Hyukjae! Stop teasing me!” I can’t
hold it. He makes me want to puke!
“Aigo, bwa bwa! Your face even more bitter
than Heechul-hyung!” he started to pinch my cheek. Aish, I’m not a little kid.
I shove his hand and again he grinned like there’s no tomorrow.
“Stop with your gummy!” I said harshly. He
just stops pinching me and stared at me.
“Hyoyeon-ah, don’t you think it’s too rude
for you as girl? I think how could you go on a date later with your boyfriend?”
“I will do it successfully and you will rag
as hell.” I said and prepared to go out from that room.
“Ne, arasseo. Don’t go over with that temper,
ne?”
“It’s none of your business.” Finally I can
sense someone kiss my right cheek, later I found he smiles. Not with that
teasing or smug smile. Just plain smile. The best I could get.
4th April 2008
I can
see the black ocean out there. Those little shade of pastel rose pink seems
can’t defeat the black one.
It’s almost a year after I debut with Girls’
Generation. But we’re more comfort with So Nyuh Shi Dae. Our real name.
I can see my entire member sad, they bowed
their head. We can’t believe it. We’ve huge antis out there. I don’t know their
reasons, but they can do that. I know that one never should be agree on one
too. Even we’re nine, we always had a little fight when it comes for food. I
can see Taeyeon is discussing with our manager find the best solution. Another
just sits and seems hopeless. I thought what’s on Yoona’s mind? She always be
the face for us. Get the first bashing, criticisms, bad comments, and even
terror. Now, she just watches at that black ocean. Actually, we’re in SMTown
Summer Concert.
“Yoona-ah, what’s on your mind?”
She looked at me then grin wider, “I’m sure,
someday there will be huge of pastel rose pink out there!”
“How can you be that sure?”
“Lee Sooman songsaengnim said that our trip
is waayyy long, it’s just the first red light. We must wait calmly until it
turns to be green.”
I can see her eyes are sparkling, yet still a
bit afraid. But, with her words I don’t know, I just believe it.
Then I see our sunbae approach us and give us
spirit. Yeah, it’s just red light. Calmly, it will turn to be green. I believe
that.
When we go on stage, we are accompanied by
Super Junior oppas. They negotiated with the fans, and little by little the
lightstick turn their color on. I can see the pearl sapphire blue comes first,
I would love to thank to Leeteuk-oppa and Sungmin-oppa. They can coo them and
finally the red from Cassiopeia and baby blue from SHINee appear. And Sones,
really there no words to describe how grateful us for having you. I see Yoona
smiles at me, and there my smile comes up. Thanks deer, Sones and all the fans,
where ever you come. I just want to thank.
I finished with my stuffs and ready to go to
the van, when suddenly someone grabbed my hand take me to the other corner of
the backstage.
“Oppa, why you tak—“ my word didn’t come up
since he hug me tight.
“Are you worried?” he asked me. I would love
to say that I’m not okay, that yet I’m still afraid. Think about the bashing,
the criticisms. All freaking me out.
“I’m okay.” I said then patted his back
softly.
“Oppa,” I called him, not comfortable because
we might be seen by the other people.
“Sshh, just let it like this for a while.” I
agreed and dammit! How can this cheeks blushing?
Then he released me. Thank god! You always
help me. But, when I met his gaze, he still wandered if I’m really okay.
“Oppa, I told you I’m okay.”
“Ah, I should know that you’re not really a
girl. You will be stunned for this.”
“Mwo? Repeat it once again! Am I just heard
you say I’m not really a girl?” I widened my eyes. Lee Hyukjae, you just can’t
get enough to tease me, huh?
“It’s true, right?” he raised his eyebrow.
Really Hyukjae!
“So, why you asked me to be your fake
girlfriend?”
“I’ve told you the reason why.”
“So you like a girl with boy attitude?”
“No.” he said bluntly.
“Okay, I’ll go to Sungmin-oppa!
Sungmin-oppa!” I shouted his name and he smiled at me. I left him behind and
approached my new favorite oppa.
4th April 2009
And we come up with ‘Gee’. I thanked to God
that our first mini album sold out. And it can beam the Kpop. How can I expect
more?
Everyday we have a pack of schedules. Now,
we’re on KBS. Preparing for special stage. There also Super Junior comeback
with their masterpiece ‘Sorry Sorry’. I’ve seen them stayed all night on the
practice room. They have a lot of effort of course. I chuckled when
Ryeowook-oppa said “Ige Mwoya?” when he first hears the song. He just too
innocent to be lost. I also can see Hyukjae-oppa, or better I called him
Eunhyuk? Like he always blabs on the show? Never mind. It’s not really
important. He fell asleep on the practice room last night. Also the rest member
of Super Junior. They’re really professional, even Heechul-oppa. He also sleeps
there after hours practice and practice.
As always the rest of the guests come up to
the stage at the end of the show. I can see Heechul-oppa and Shindong-oppa use
their black glasses to hide their black panda on their eyes.
There are also members of 2PM. We and they
also paired in some occasion, so it makes us little close. You can found tones
articles about Yoona-Taecyon out there. I know they just friends, because I
know how the hell Kyuhyun-oppa will be anger if he knows his girl hang out with
that muscular guy. And I know Yoona just in love with that evil-magnae. They’re
so childish when they have time to spend together. Noisy. Tickling. Pinching.
Pouting. Spread ‘Ya!’ here and there.
“Hyoyeon-ssi!” I looked at my side and found
Junho smiles friendly towards me. I smiled back.
“Hyoyeon-ssi, canyhgfayufe me?”
“Sorry, but I can’t hear it clearly.”
“Can youdskfh me?” I frowned at him, still
didn’t catch what he wants to say. So, he comes closer and placed his mouth
near my ear, “Can you tonight hang out with me?” I widened my eyes, and
mouthing ‘Wae’. He just chuckled and mouthing ‘I’ll call you later.’
Yeah, just say that we’re close. He and I be
friend when we meet on their shows with Boom-ssi. He is funny and friendly. He
is an open-minded. He didn’t mind if we are in the middle of toys shop or
another place that might be boring for guys.
It’s just spent two hours for our hang out
and I decided to go to our dorm. But, when I want to push the lift button to
losed. A hand appear and surprised. I was thought that the hand is a zombie.
Because it has milky-white tone. Hyukjae-oppa come in. Then, just the two of us
there. Silence.
Then the lift reach my floor, when I want to
go out, his left hand blocked my way.
“Oppa, I’m tired. Don’t go play with other
jocks.”
He just stood there. The lift’s door quietly
closed again. I eyed him helplessly.
“Oppa, just tell me what’s wrong?” I still
wait. He meets my eyes. Anger visible in his beautiful face.
“Don’t go with him again.”
Then I took something from my pocket and gave
it to him.
“What? Why you act like we’re a real couple?
We’re even not real. Yeah, not real. I just don’t understand why I can be this
honest. Playing a stupid game of yours,” I reasoned out.
So, I can state that it’s the biggest fight
we ever do along this ‘fake’ relationship.
“You get tired?” he asked me.
“Yes, I got it.”
“Because of this?” he asked again. No,
it’s all because I think I’m in love with you, stupid.
I looked away and try not to let this stupid
tears flowing down my cheeks. He held my chin and makes me meet his eyes. Those
eyes.
“Then say it. Say you want this all over.” He
offered.
“Yes, I want this over now. Don’t go mess my
life again.” I said as blunt as I can. I shoved his hand and pushed the button
on the left lift’s wall. It’s stopped. Right after I walked one step, he said,
“Don’t turn around or stop. If you stop just for a while I will, I will hold
you.”
I don’t know, I want to go. I want he goes. I
want him.
I just step follow my legs where ever it
wants to. He was gone. I threw myself on the side of the lobby. Lucky enough there
were no one. Just me and this fucking feeling.
4th April 2010
It has been a year after the decided that the
game is over. I try to cheer up myself. I don’t want to be alone. There should
be someone who accompanies me. I’ll try my best to joke around, make a big
laughter, making Tiffany and Jessica irritated, so I can have fight with them.
Then when I was in the dorm. Hyukjae-oppa
called me. I frowned, its quiet long that we didn’t keep in touch. I received
the call and he wants me to check the internet. He was in hurry. When I look, I
saw my picture with Hyukjae-oppa. Exactly before they debut, when he wants to
go with their single, Twins.
I called him back and asked what we must do.
He asked me to go to the basement. I took my jacket and hat to hide my face. I
go to inside his car.
“Oppa, how we can handle this?” he seems to
be in thought too. Hours later, we shared our weariness and all the risk. We
comforted each other.
“Hyoyeon-ah, let’s them know our
relationship.”
“Oppa, it would be fan wars.”
“It won’t. Why it will be? We don’t even
together.” Then that feeling comes again. The pain.
“Ne, we don’t even together,” I mumbled to
myself.
Then the two of us go to SM building. We’re
gonna talk about this with our manager. When we said that we will tell them
that we had been dating before, our managers reject it. They said we mustn’t do
that stuffs. We just have to stay quiet and ignored the issues. They said it
will vanish by itself. I eyed Hyukjae-oppa only to see his reaction. He bowed
his head and he feels that I look after him, he smiles and nods.
Well, I can say that our relationship turn to
be friends again. Err, I’m not a liar, so I tell you that it’s hard enough.
When I see his face, really you must know how much I want to punch that. I want
to block his gummy smile. But then, I love to see those fucking face and smile.
During this time, I repetitively invited to
Sukira. One of his and Leeteuk-oppa radio’s program. Today, they invite me,
Yoona, Doojoon and Kahee.
Around the show we got a lot of laughter. I
can see Leeteuk-oppa really good in mixing words. He really has
good-articulation. But, what the heck is this? Is Doojoon playing around with
me? He repeatedly says that he loves me, loves the way I dance, the way I
speak, the way I dresses. It’s really embarrassing.
“So, Doojoon-ssi, are you going to take
Hyoyeon-ssi as your girlfriend?” Leeteuk-oppa asked. Oppa, really what kind of
question is that.
“As if I could.” He said dramatically. Of
course, you can’t silly. I have my heart out of there. I have put it in the
dustbin maybe. Fine, you have to find that. I mumbled to myself.
I see him just chuckled and look his paper.
Another day, I have to tap in Strong Heart.
Yeah, so why? Why he always on the top show? Of course it’s because the contract.
Hyoyeon, don’t acts like a stupid.
There also G-Dragon, and other artists. When
in the middle of recording, Hodong-sunbaenim asked G-Dragon to choose his ideal’s
type. Then, the clip is playing, it shows Sooyoung’s photo. Woah, she must be
dying in happiness if she watches it in the dorm later. But, suddenly the clip
play again, then I saw my picture appeared on the clip. Wait? What? Me? Is
G-Dragon loosing his mind? I saw him pleaded ‘sorry’ toward a guy who sits not
so far behind him. Is he apologizing to Hyukjae-oppa?
The recording is ended and I cant’ be happy
for everything else. I’m really tired and need to sleep. Lucky enough that the
company gives the rest of SNSD member to get three days holiday off. I check my
train’s ticket and smile. I want to go home. Incheon, I’m coming!
Then I saw him.
“Hyoyeon-ah!” I look at him and smile.
“What? Is there something you want to talk?”
I asked to the point. I just don’t want to miss the train. Since this is the
last train and I don’t in the mood to ride my car. It’s kinda tiring.
“Where do you go?”
“I must go to the station. Or else I will
miss the last train.”
“Do you want to go to Icheon?” I just nodded
my head. He grabbed my hand and takes me to his car.
“Oppa, wae?”
“I want to escort you to the station, it’s
okay, right?”
I didn’t answer it, I just agreed.
Well, it’s not late. We have five minutes
before the train comes. We take a seat and busy with our own mind.
“Finally it comes to be huge news.”
He finally speaks and I just stare at the
railway. I smiled a bit and agreed at his speech.
“Why can’t we just continue that?” he asked
with the little kid curious-tone. I eyed him in disbelief, so he wants to make
this thrown heart comes to hurt again?
“It won’t.” I answered.
“Why?”
“It won’t.”
“Why?” he asked again.
“It won’t.” he eyed me probingly. Then the
anger burns my cheek. Is he that heartless? Is he that stupid? God, please
could you just throw him now?
“Hyoyeon-ah, is it true? Is it true that you
have that kind of feeling towards me?”
He continued stare at me. It’s really
annoying. It seems I can’t control my anger, feeling, and everything stupid
stuffs. Luckily, the train is coming and I prepare to go. I stand up and reach
the train’s door. I don’t want to answer his question.
“Hyoyeon-ah!” he reached my left shoulder,
only to stop me. No, maybe he just too curious, is he thinks that he is indeed
that handsome?
“Let go off me.”
“No, until I know the answer.”
“Please.” It’s the first time I used that
word towards him. Gah.
“No.”
“…”
“Hyoyeon-ah.”
I turned around only to face him,“Fine.
That’s true. I have that stupid feeling towards you. Yeah, I love you. You got
it?” then the tears come again. I clap my hand on my forehead. On the other
side, I feel something like weight take out from my body. It’s kind of lighter.
“So, do you have that too? Do you love me?” I
asked when I found he just stood there. He didn’t say something.
“Fine. It’s okay. I’ll go. Take care on your
way home, oppa.” I patted his right hand and go to the train. He is still
there. Okay, I can manage it. Just give me a time.
A day after, I still arrange myself. I want
to sleep all day. I don’t want to something. But, my mom keeps calling me to
wake up. Aish, mom.
I walk
to my balcony and found the view is great. Yeah, that’s it. I found it teasing
me, because I have the opposite feeling. Oh, don’t say I will dramatic today.
Eww.
When I look around I found a glimpse of car.
A known car. It supposed to be Hyukjae-oppa’s. Then I can see the owner sit on
the car’s front engine, when his gaze meets mine, he smiles. He mouthed
‘Already wake up?’ I didn’t answer it, just eyed him probingly. Again, he just
smiles. God, please take back that gummy-smile.
I go down stair and meet him. God, where
could be that black around his eyes?
“Hyoyeon-ah, actually—“ I cut off his words
as I wipe that black circle on his eyes. Just called me foolish, I can’t take
my eyes of that annoying color.
“What have been you done?” I asked him with a
little high-tone.
“I, I,” he stuttered. Lee Hyukjae, are you
sleeping all night here? I asked him without speak it out.
“Don’t say anything.” I grabbed his hand and
take him to my house. It’s a bit risk if we still outside.
He meets my mom, actually my mom knows him
very well. She has been known him since back we were trainees. Like me, mom
also feels annoyed with his pale face, she asked me to take him to my room.
Please, don’t get us wrong, my house is not that huge. Its just has four rooms.
My parent’s, my dongsaeng’s, mine, and the housekeeper’s. so, I take him to my
room, since Hyungsan, my dongsaeng, won’t let his room to be touched.
I offered him to sleep, he rubbed his nape
and smile coyly. I think he feels a little shy. Right, I got that.
“I’ll go down stair to help my mom. Just take
a rest then.” I left him after see him nods.
It takes three hours before I go to my room
again. Checking for him. God thing, he still sleeps. Look the way he sleeps,
aigo, he is really like a kindergarten. With his palms wide open here and
there, the blanket throws away. I fix up his palms and the blanket, then
covered him until his chin. When I was about to leave the room, I feel like I
don’t. I want to see the way he sleeps. I sit in the bed side. Unconsciously,
my index finger touches his forehead, caress his eyelid, down to his cheek then
his nose, when finally my finger reaches his lips. I should not think this way! I’m not a
pervert! I take back my finger and feel these cheeks blushed. Goddamnit!
I quickly stand up and ready to leave the
room, when suddenly I heard a voice.
“Hyoyeon-ah.” I looked back at him. There he
already wake up and sit on the bed. What? Is he knows that thing? Please, no!
Where I can put this face if he knows it?
He stands up and approaches me, who already
grab the door knob.
“What?” I asked and have full attention on
him. He comes closer and caging me with his hands. Suddenly, I feel my heart
thump like crazy. Just shut up! You stupid thump!
“Just let’s make it clear. Hyoyeon-ah,
saranghae.” He said without hesitant. He eyed me intensely. Even I can’t open
my mouth to say at least a word. He comes closer and closes the distance.
Really I want to kiss those plump lips, but it won’t work. I stopped him on the
chest. He seems to be surprise with my action.
“Wae?” he asked and grabbed my hands with his
right hand.
“Oppa,err,” feels like I can’t find the right
words to describe.
“I know it! You want to reject me, right?”
“What?”
“Then what it will be?” I bit my lower lip as
not to suppress my laugh. I do afraid about our relationship soon, I do afraid
about fan wars if we got caught, and I do love him more than that weariness.
I got off from his grip and encircled my
hands on his neck. I hugged him thigh, “I do afraid about the weariness. But,
it won’t stop me to, to,” aish! How can be this is so embarrassing? Hyoyeon, it’s
just ‘I love you’. But, I found it awkward.
“To?” he asked me playfully. I know he knows
what I mean.
“Ya! Don’t play with me!” I barked as I
released from his hug.
“Arasseo, arasseo.” He beamed and holds my
waist.
Suddenly I feel uneasy with the way he looked
at me, “What now?”
He didn’t answer just pointing his lips with
his finger. I widened my eyes and shook my head vigorously.
“Ppalli!” he ordered. Really, what the?
I still shook my head and earning pout from
him. okay, Ill fulfill it now. Really, Hyukjae, just now. Maybe?
I leaned closer and started to close my eyes.
“Hyoyeon-ah! What taking you so long? Come
back now!” I heard mom calling me out, and held my head back. He released me
and looking away, I can see those blushes on his milky white-skin.
“I’ll be there mom!” I reply and look back at
him. He is still looking away.
“Oppa,”
“Hmm?” when he turned his face to me I
quickly plant a quick kiss on his lips.
“Go fix yourself, then go down stair. The
lunch already set up,” I said as I fix his hair up. He just nods and appears
his famous gummy smile.
4th April 2011
I can’t contact him, he was too busy with his
MC-ing in one music program. Like him, I was busy too in my schedule. Actually,
now, me and the girls in the middle of preparing our first Japan album. Don’t ask
me how tiring it is, because it’s like you want to take off your bones and
recharge it with the new one.
I saw Yoona on the corner of the room and
holding her cell phone on her right ear. She rolled her eyes and clapped her
free hand on her beautiful forehead.
“Arasseo, Ya! How could you be this stubborn?
No! Don’t do anything stupid. Oppa, what kind of person you are? mwo?” after
debating with someone, she paused and seemed to heard what on the other line
said. Then the silly grin appear on her beautiful face, then turn to be a
pretty or stupid smile? I can’t compared that if it comes to Yoona.
She hang up and saw me who watched her
before.
“Unnie, waeyo? You can’t call him, right? You
miss him, right?”
Aish, this kid. I’m never think too far like
she guess, but how could she guess it?
“You just have to call him, unnie.”
“Yoong, I think you have your brain
dislocated.”
“Mwo?”
“That’s telephone from Kyu-oppa, right? Now what’s
again? Look how angry you are, but just in a sec, your face turn to be a slice
of tomato. Are you in jealous again?” I loved to tease her. Now look, her face
turn to be that slice of tomato again. Ha! Im Yoon Ah!
“Stop it, unnie. As if you don’t like that.”
she pouted.
“Ya! I’m not like you!” I exclaimed.
“Look! Is that Eunhyuk-oppa who clinging to
Jiyeon-ssi?” Yoona pointing at the TV. And the thing I know, I already call his
manager. “Teel him to let go off that girl!”
4th April 2012
He is abroad now. He and Super Junior held a
concert in Paris, and I heard that it comes to be a success concert. I’m glad
to hear that. It’s the day that supposed to be his birthday. I haven’t called
him yet, then again, he is in busy.
I laid on my bed, when my phone ringing. It’s
from him.
“Hyoyeon-ah!”
“Yeah,”
“It’s funny here.”
“Yeah,”
“I’m in the middle of the party.”
“Yeah,”
“Hyoyeon-ah, waeyo?”
“Ani, I’m okay. Have a nice day then. This is
your birthday, congratulation. What gift do you want?”
“Just say you miss me.”
“Oppa, I miss you.”
“I’ll go back as soon as possible. Good night.”
“You have to. Good night too.”
He hang up. I stare at the phone. Am I too
oblivious or possessive? It’s okay, because for that one certain monkey, I’ll
really possessive.
End.
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